There is No Life Without My Dad.

Recently dear friends Dads passed away and each asked if they would ever get over it.  Today, on Father’s Day I share my answer;

Dad holds Luke in March 1996. Casey in Background.
Dad holds Luke in March 1996. Casey in Background.

You will never have a life without your Dad. He is right around the corner. He is in every breath your child blows upon your cheek at night as they close their eyes to sleep. Your Dad is holding your hand right now. Can you feel it?

See that rainbow just behind the cloud? Know that nagging feeling when you know you shouldn’t be doing something – yep that’s him too. Dad is giving you his two cents and then some. Dad is laughing when you swear because your car won’t start. Dad is howling when you slip and fall and look to see if no one is watching.

Dad is reaching for your hair right now. He’s brushing it back from your face. Hey see that grin your kids get right when they do something naughty? Yep – he’s right behind it. Feel your heart burst with pride as they grab their diploma, marry their sweetheart, he is the fireworks inside.

Look in your your husband’s eyes – the man you married and know how the same eyes shine with pride and love right through to you. My God you will miss his physical presence. Not a day will go by that you won’t want to hear that laugh or “dad tone” and yet deep inside, with each success you have in your life, and each tiny misstep you just know he is there. Holding. Reaching. Caring. Loving. Just being the Dad that is yours alone.

It’s been 18 years since my Dad died on a beautiful August day. Will I ever get on with my life without my Dad? My Dad is always with me. Here is is in living color:   Robert J. Jarman

 

Full Screen Life

I just read a blog focusing on the fact that there is no such thing as a “balanced” work / home life.  The blogger went on to say that if you don’t like what you do- change. The remarks to the blogger were the most eye-opening for me.  They referred to the writer as “pompous” and “unrealistic” and focused on negativity in the workplace with no hope in sight.   I thought of the below post written in 2012.  The same holds true today – except we are now packing up our 5th of 6 kids to head to college (YEAH!)   It’s easy to become negative.  It’s easy to get into a rut at work or home and feel you are a hamster on a wheel.  It’s hard to pick up your spirits if they are down and look at the big picture.
A full screen view of Lake Michigan, Holland State Park
A full screen view of Lake Michigan, Holland State Park
Last night we went to Holland, Michigan to see Lake Michigan.  We shopped in town, relaxed at dinner, watched a sunset and ended the night with Ice Cream. It captured the meaning of a “Full Screen Life” as listed below.   Enjoy!

 

 September 2012:

I’ve been spending the morning preparing for a cleaning out of now college freshman Emily’s bedroom.

She did a great job packing and sorting.   The left behind is her childhood memories that will be stored away until she’s ready to re-open the fun in her own home someday.

 

My Sunday’s are often spent preparing.  I indulge myself with readings all morning  while I ponder the task list in front of me.  Today’s task that looms ahead is one that is exciting and yet melancholic at the same time.  Two of the articles I read hit home with me today as I prepare for the challenge:

 

The first is from http://zenhabits.net/ and it explains how we need to begin living a Full Screen Life.

 

In it author Leo Babauta explains how we often are doing two to three or four things at once:

 

“We’re doing one work task while trying to stay on top of email, text messages and social media. We’re talking with a friend while seeing what we’re missing on Facebook and Instagram. We’re eating while planning. Making love while thinking about work.”  Babauta shares his concept on living a “Full Screen Life” by focusing only on the one task you are doing.  If you are engaging in a discussion with your daughter – don’t think about work – truly engage in the moment with your daughter.   He showcases how to do this and encourages practice.

 

The second reading came from a review on Gretchen Rubin’s new book,  Happier at Home:  ”Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson and My Other Experiences in the Practice of Everyday Life.’   Rubin dedicated a school year to making her home a place of greater simplicity, comfort and love.  I would love this book as a Christmas Gift (Hint Hint) and in the meantime have reviewed the reviewer and know that Rubin is on to something.  (‘Happier at Home: Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson, and My Other Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life’ by Gretchen Rubin http://mymindonbooks.com/?p=6142)

 

Perhaps it is because our home has gone from a loud and open door place where 6 kids introduced us to every form of friend and foe into a quieter more grown up house with two teenagers who rarely fight and revel in playing games with their ol’ Mom and Dad.  Perhaps it’s because I’m about to clean out a post-high school girl room and bring more space to what was once a very overcrowded home while celebrating another pretty successful push from the nest.  Either way the two readings that I came across today I believe did not show up by accident.

 

The funny thing is – when you are in the midst of the madness of raising kids and raising career goals is when you really need to live a Full Screen Happy Life.  Don’t get me wrong. I’m not in any way thinking my life was not full and happy –  I am saying there is comfort in intentional happiness and full attention at work and home.

 

I’m excited and humbled at this juncture in our lives.  My work is compelling, challenging and just plain fun.  My life is less stressed with school activities and more open to new learnings and opportunities.  I’m taking the two readings from today and combining them at work and home.  Get ready to practice with me…. let’s jump into a Full Screen Happy Life!

 

Tip #1 for Full Screen Happy Life:    Cards, Dice and Game Boards belong on every table – both office and home – not hidden in closets or drawers!

Our Feathered Nest Filled With Love and Lifelong Learning

Feathering a nest.  Have you ever stopped to watch a pair of adult birds take their time to intricately put together a home for what will be their tiny family?  It’s a lesson in nature’s ability to create a safe haven, a place to be.

Take Flight by Ellie Johnson 2014
Hand Sketch  by Ellie Johnson 2014

For the past 29 years Rob and I have feathered our nest.  We’ve gathered the bricks for our foundation, built a home and feathered it with more blankets and pillows than you can imagine.  In the past month we’ve had the joy of having all of our kids under one roof.  We’ve moved furniture to ensure there were places to sleep.  We even moved kids from the comfort of their own room to sofa beds and air mattresses.  Why? Because many of our birds have left the nest and when they return we move a twig here and there to make room.

In the midwest we have open houses for High School graduations. They are a big deal.  We plan and plan and celebrate big with family and friends.  Recently two comments made me pause,  “Why High School? What’s The Big Deal?”  and “I’ve never seen anything like this – it’s a spectacle!”   This year our 5th of 6 kids graduated from Forest Hills.  We celebrated. Big Time.  Every child made it home, even the one who is just starting a new job and took a 6am flight back and forth to make it.  We appreciate this. Big Time.

I can tell you why for me personally High School Graduation is so important.  Because High School years are the final moments you really have a say as a parent in helping  shaping your children’s values.  Once High School is over you really let go. And it’s not easy. Will they be polite, will they attend class, will they make great friends for life, will they behave, will they learn, will they LEARN?!  For me, I look around and hope the life-long learning my husband and I do has rubbed off.  You can only learn so much in school, then it’s time to realize you never stop, and it’s a blast to learn in ways you never thought possible.

This summer we will have learners in , Chicago, Il., Harrisburg, PA, Edmonton, Canada, Mount Pleasant , Kalamazoo, Grandville and and Cascade, Michigan. We will have learners landing new jobs and leading in new ones.  We will have learners working all different shifts, through Holidays and  #PureMichigan sunshine.  Each of us are  at different ages and stages in life and we share one thing.  We all either went through or are almost finished with High School.  After this milestone we each take our different path. We will falter,  stumble, succeed, falter , stumble and succeed again.

We also share one other thing; a feathered nest waiting for return trips.  A place we know will always be a safe haven, a place to go.  It’s our own feathered nest. We’ve made it our own.

It’s now that I realize we feather it for a very specific reason.  We feather our nest so when our birds fly on their own, our landing as parents isn’t quite so hard.

The 5 Kindest Things Mom Taught Me

Grandma Betty lives with us. She has her own “Granny House” designed by her and attached to our laundry room. We’ve been living together for 16 years. (not including the 21 years of raising me!)

Grandma Betty is my mom.

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Living with my mom for over half my lifetime is one reason I am who I am today. Here are the 5 kindest things she has taught me:

1). Purchase a rocker or swing.

To hold a child and rock them to sleep. To swing grandkids and neighborhood children back and forth while teaching them new songs to sing seals hearts with love forever.

2) Open your home.

Porches are made for relaxation and they need to be ready at all times for company. Stop what you are doing to “sit-a-spell” when there is a knock on the door.

3) Share family stories.

Take out the family pictures and tell their stories. Memorialize the stories by writing paragraphs on the back of each one -(not just month and date) for all to remember.

4) Thank those who help.

Show your gratitude in work and life every day. Grandma Betty is my executive female role model. She got there by thanking all those who helped her throughout her career. From the teachers, administrators, neighbors, assistants, CEOs, landscapers and on and on. She also taught me to be grateful to and for my husband and family every moment. They are priceless.

5) Sneak treats daily.

Sneaking treats to pets (and kids) may encourage more begging, yet it shows a surprise love. There is no better feeling than having someone surprise you with an unexpected kindness. Sneaking one or two for yourself bolsters the spirit!

Happy Mother’s Day Grandma Betty, Mom.

Top Ten Ways to Make This Mom REALLY Happy!

Before we begin, let me say under no circumstances do I stand upon my high horse and say I do not do the following items in the list.  I do. I apologize to my Mom and my Mom-In-Law for slipping and sliding down the slippery slope.

The Johnson Bunch

But here is my list for my kids (and nieces/nephews/kids who call me Mom) to make this MOM REALLY Happy on Mother’s Day and beyond:

1) Quit Swearing.  Profanity is a bad habit.  It’s bad enough when you say swear words out loud but when you intentionally use them in writing, go wash your mouth AND hands.  Better yet take a shower.

2) Use table manners.   It is NOT ok to belch at dinner. Ever. Laughing after is not OK either.  It’s gross.  (Note I didn’t say belch, period – I said at dinner – I’m not that naive.)

3) Spell Check.  You have had an awesome education (or are in the process of completing one) Please check your spelling when posting, writing, texting, applying for jobs..etc., etc.,

4) ANSWER A TEXT.  Your parents know you are answering texts to those you love or are stalking.  Please answer your text to your parents immediately. This is a non negotiable. If your parents don’t have texts – and they call you, CALL THEM BACK.  It’s simple.

5) Leave the room you we’re just in a little better than when you came in.  If you find trash, empty glasses, etc., pick it up and throw it all away.  Don’t make it worse by thinking “It’s already dirty .. I’ll leave it for XXX to handle.” XXX is often MOM and MOM will revert to #1 which is a habit we are trying to break.

6) Don’t go a day without communicating.  It may be a “HI”  in a text, (remember answer texts) or a hug as you out the door; a phone call or a “like” on Facebook if you still “do” facebook.  Just touch base every day.

7) Be Honest.  No matter what.

8)  Read.  Every day read something new.  (Not the back of a cereal box) Read something from the internet, or (GASP A NOVEL)  and share your newfound wisdom. Don’t EVER stop learning.

9) Learn to love naps.

10) Play Games and LOL every day. EVERY DAY. Not once a week or “I’ll get to it”  – play a game every single day with someone you love. Your will then Laugh – and laughter makes the world go round.

Happy Mother’s Day To ME!  I have learned from the BEST. Game Night starts at 8 PM EST, gather round!

What If All Change Is Good?

When you are working in a fast paced growing company with goals and strategies guiding you rapidly,  you face daily change.

When you have 3 of 6 children graduating into new walks of life, and you see the world flying by at breakneck speed, you face core life change. The 1998 Easter photo below proves to me change is my reality.

 

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Change is good.  Change  is bad. Change is stressful.

What if All Change is Good?

I delved into an article this morning from ProjectGlobalAwakening.com.  In it , author Brandon West wrote about something that resonated with me.  He asked if I remembered jumping into the arms of my Mom or Dad when I was little and the trust I had that everything would be OK.  I was jumping into the air with no assurance I would not land on my head and yet I jumped with ease and joy.

West explains this jumping off and surrendering ourselves without fear as something we should do in every aspect of life – because All Change is Good.

Really? All Change IS Good?

You get demoted? That’s Good?

You don’t get the job of your dreams? That’s Good?

Your friend’s parents die? That’s Good?

As you move into a new job, new responsibilities, a demotion, your kids leaving home.  It’s All Good?

My brother John passed away at age 52 in a car accident.  No rhyme, no reason. No help for the heart to understand why this tragic change took place.  John had a deep personal Faith that ‘God is Good,  Always.’  He never questioned it.  I know, despite not having my big brother here physically, he is still guiding my life in his big brother way.  All Change IS Good.

Can we trust All Change IS Good? Can we?

This Easter Weekend has me knowing I was meant to reflect about the Goodness of Change.  When we close our eyes,  can we see ourselves as a child trusting others as we fly into the air and jump into their arms?  Can we hear ourselves  squeal as our Dad threw us up into the sky?

The joy of trusting that everything will be OK is here for the taking. I’m a very positive person, but lately change has left me feeling a bit melancholy.   And so I’m going to continue to ask the questions:

When did we stop jumping? What happened in life that change brought sadness or became something to fear instead of something to embrace?   Can we go  back to facing change with pure joy and knowledge that it will be GOOD?

Time to make some changes to make that happen.  Happy Easter everyone.

PS: Look again at Easter photo 1998. All change IS good!

This Rose Smells of GREAT Customer Service!

It begins with jewelry.  Jewelry is my friend and I like to keep mine in good shape all the while being a bit tough on my prime pieces.  When I began with Consumers Credit Union there was a tiny yellow house located near our office with a sign out front  – Rose Jewelers.

A smile as genuine as his service!
A smile as genuine as his service!

I walked into the jewelry store to meet Jim.  This was nearly 3 years ago and he was not feeling well.  Despite being under the weather, he treated me with kindness and I was amazed at his skills and his care (and his repair prices were right up my alley too!)

He asked about me, since I was a new face, and I explained I was the new Chief Marketing Officer of Consumers Credit Union.  Jim then beamed and said , “I was just thinking of switching to your bank, because I’m fed up with fees.”

I immediately took his card and said our business services team would be in touch.  Fast Forward 3 years and a few visits later  (Thanks hubby Rob for always keeping me in BLING) I stop by today to drop a few pieces off for repair.   Jim smiles and we chat a bit about vacation and how his life is going.  I thank him for his quick and painless service to my pocketbook.  He laughed and mentioned a woman who was in the month before and this is his story:

A woman came in to Rose Jewelers during a snow storm and  was charged $10.00 for a repair.   She pulled cash out of her pocket she was dismayed to only find $8.00 in her pocket.  She exclaimed, “Jim I know I had a $20!”  He said – no worries catch me next time and took the $8.00.     Last week the snow melted (finally) in Michigan.  Jim was walking to his truck after work and there on the ground was a $20.00 bill.   Jim went back into the store and called his customer to let her know he found her $20.00! He told her to come and get it! 

Once Jim told me this I grinned ear to ear.  I said, “Jim – that’s why you are such a valued member! You live and breath customer service – you are our member/owner and we thrive on your integrity!”

There are so many “Jim’s” out there!  To all of you who are touched by our member service teams every day, tell us your stories.  Let us know through Success@ConsumersCU.org how customer service has impacted your life or how YOU have made a difference in others lives.

We all can make someone’s day a bit brighter.  It may not be that exact day, it may be a month later when the snow melts , but we CAN brighten a person’s day just by taking that one extra step of servant leadership.