Are you as amazed as I am in how that date is looming in our calendars? I filled out paperwork for our last High School student today. Ellie, our Senior, is ready to begin. Whoo boy, do we remember the dreaded “fill out the forms night” we had with 6 kids starting school. What used to take 4 hours now took 10 minutes. Refreshing.
What this brings to the table for a once extremely busy Mom is time. Time to think about the upcoming next stages of life, time to embrace, fear and revel in them all at once. Time on my hands. Precious time to spend with those I love. Time to stop wishing for it to stand still but to live now and love the time I’m in. As I write this post the picture you see is what I see. Do you love the time you are in?
My parents always used to say “time goes so fast” and yet when we were younger it felt like an eternity. Ellie our youngest watched her boyfriend fly back to Canada today. Time will be excruciatingly slow for her. I’m watching as our youngest begins her last year of HS and 5 others successfully take flight. Time is ours to grasp at or refreshingly hold close. It’s our choice.
My mind rambles and my words follow. Why do we get all choked up when we face the upcoming changes as school year begins? Is it because of the change itself? The long days of Summer close in on us like a blanket of fog. Is the feeling suffocating or soothing? For me, the reality is, it’s both.
What I love is the feeling of pure electricity in my heart that is beginning to smother the feeling of loss. Do you feel it too? Change is loss and the reflex is to be sad. Yet, my heart is feeling the change in a new way. My coat of parenthood fits a bit differently this Fall because I see the day when I shed it off for “college and working kids” relationships which is different than day to day School-Age at home relationships. As I reflect I realize the importance of being real, now.
I’ll tip my toes in the water of change and know I’ll dive in soon.
But not quite yet; there’s paperwork to turn in.